Our recommended baby sleep solution
Thanks for all your information. It sounds like you have done an awesome job teaching your baby to sleep, and I think a few key things will have her sleeping through in no time.
Her sleeping environment
At 4 months she may be getting too big for her bassinette, so just check she’s not whacking her arms on the side or waking up from bumping her head etc.
If you can move her bed it would be a good idea, so she can’t see you!
There is some new research out that suggests keeping your baby in your room until they are 6 months slightly reduces the SIDS risk. Personally I have found that the sooner they are out of your room, the quicker they sleep through the night. So you need to weigh that up yourself and also see what is realistic in your house.
If your son is a good sleeper, it’s unlikely that her talking will wake him up. I know with my boys, one of them can be screaming and the other sleeps right through it. The sooner they are in together the easier it is likely to be.
Once your baby is in your son’s room, you won’t hear her talking in the night. This in itself is likely to be the main thing that helps her sleep through the night, as no feed/cuddle/dummy etc, means she will just chat for a while to herself and learn to not need you to go back to sleep. Given she is not crying in the night, it sounds like she is quite happy and has everything she needs, so she should just drift back to sleep.
Swaddling & sleeping bag introduction
If you are going to continue wrapping your baby, wrap her at bedtime how you want her to stay right through the night. Consistency in the sleeping environment is really important for a baby to resettle.
If having her hand out helps her settle, I would wrap her that way to start with. You will also need a really big wrap now, either one of my stretch ones or a fitted wrap one are best for that age.
Once you are wrapping her with one arm out, you can start to wrap her with the wrap over her sleeping bag. This will mean she gets used to the sleeping bag and in a month or two you can get rid of the wrapping. It also means you no longer need to use any loose bedding in her cot, which means there is nothing to kick off and is also good from a safety point of view.
There are lots of sleeping bags available on my site however the best option is a Woolbabe, as these can be used from now until age 2, can be used year round and have 100% natural, low fire danger fibres.
The next thing that will solve your baby waking at 4am is adjusting your routine during the day. With a structured routine you are basically anticipating what your baby needs before she knows she needs it, so I find it works better with an older baby than demand feeding. It also makes life with two children so much easier, as you know when you can go out, when she needs bottles and sleeps etc. So if you are going to be out, you will know if she needs a bottle or sleep when you are out and you can plan accordingly.
I recommend the routines from ‘Save Our Sleep’, as they are really simple to use and are very effective for solving night waking.
The recommended routine for your baby is
4.30 nap if needed
10.00pm dreamfeed (feed while baby is swaddled and asleep).
The main changes for you are having her into bed earlier, and doing a dreamfeed at around 10:00pm. This should mean she doesn’t need that feed during the night, and you can either let her keep chatting or use the dummy to resettle her without the bottle. The ‘dreamfeed’ means you feed her while she is still asleep, which is far easier to do if she’s well swaddled or in a sleeping bag. Don’t worry about a nappy change or burping at this feed. Just gently take her out of bed, give her the bottle and put her back into bed still asleep.