What Does Teaching Your Baby to Self Settle mean?

Self-settling / self-soothing

By self-settling, we mean baby falling asleep in their own bed without being helped all the way to sleep, and resettling themselves between sleep cycles overnight (apart from when they are due for a feed).
This tends to become relevant around the four to five month mark, when babies' sleep starts to mature and they naturally begin to wake more frequently as a result. This is often referred to as the “four month sleep regression”.

There are lots of ways to gently help your baby learn self-settling skills at this age and over time. At The Sleep Store we suggest starting by gently encouraging this behaviour with the use of helpful sleep associations and some gentle techniques.

Pop outs

Best suited to toddlers and preschoolers, this method has the parent ‘popping out’ for brief periods, returning as promised and repeating until the child is asleep.

VR / Verbal Reassurance

This is where baby is put to bed in a safe sleep space and then checked on or reassured at increasing intervals until they are asleep. Families may choose this technique to encourage older babies to 'self-settle' or fall asleep without needing to be helped back to sleep.

SS / Spaced Soothing

Spaced soothing is very similar to VR, however we often refer to it in place of VR when we are suggesting smaller intervals that do not increase in time, and perhaps offering some more hands on reassurance at check ins.

Note: These two above techniques for teaching your baby how to self-settle are generally appropriate for older babies (6 months+). They are sometimes mislabelled as CIO “cry it out” as they do involve some crying, however baby is fully supported with regular check-ins and reassurance - we don’t suggest or recommend any full CIO methods where baby isn’t checked on or reassured.

Positive sleep associations are still really important at this age and/or when using these techniques.

CIO / Extinction

This means putting baby to bed and not tending to them again until the morning. We would never suggest or approve of this technique as it involves leaving the baby or child without being regularly checked on. It is therefore very different to techniques with regular check-ins and reassurance.

It is really important to note that there is absolutely no right or wrong way for your baby to be settled to sleep. Feeding, rocking or holding to sleep is absolutely fine and wonderful for as long as it is working for you, no matter the age of your baby.

Equally, it is totally ok to want to move toward more independent sleep for your child. This may be when you know your child needs more sleep or you are confident they are ready to sleep for longer stretches overnight. You may also need to make changes as your your own health and wellbeing is being impacted by impacted by cumulative sleep deprivation. This is a very valid reason for wanting to help your child sleep better as the impacts of sleep deprivation can be serious over time. At the Sleep Store we're here to support in what you decide is best for YOUR family.

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